Rape culture is an environment where inappropriate language or jokes, harassment, sexual assault, and rape are prevalent and normalized due to society's attitudes about gender, sexuality, media, and pop culture. Behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include slut-shaming, sexual objectification, downplaying rape, denial of widespread rape, refusing to acknowledge the harm caused by sexual violence, misogynistic language, the glamorization of sexual violence, or some combination of these. This creates a society that completely disregards people’s rights and safety.
Although both women and men can be raped, women are generally more severely impacted by rape culture. Women from a young age are exploited and taught to not be alone at night, not leave their drink unintended, or to dress modestly so as not to “provoke'' someone to attack them. Women should not be taught how to avoid being raped, rather, we should be teaching everyone how to ask for consent and accept rejection.
Instead of trying to educate young boys, we as a society instill fear into girls. As if by making them scared to leave the house, we are protecting them. In reality, we push all these messages onto women to neglect the root of the issue. Lecturing women does not disable predators, it allows the gaze and blames to be released from them.
Victim blaming is a widespread issue that is highly harmful and only adds stigma to survivors. Victim blaming is a depreciating act that occurs when the victim of a crime is held responsible, partially or entirely, for the crimes that have been committed against them. When victims are blamed, they are less likely to report or seek help after an incident. It makes things that much harder in recovering from a traumatic experience. Abuse, sexual assault, and other forms of violence are always the perpetrator's fault. Victims do not “bring it on themselves.”
Using phrases such as, “she asked for it,” “what were you wearing,” “boys will be boys,” or anything that would insinuate that this was somehow the survivor's fault, only enables abusers instead of trying to correct the behavior. If an abuser never receives blame or repercussions for their actions, they have no reason to change. They won’t even be able to see what they're doing wrong.
It’s important to listen to and believe survivors. Rape does not always happen in an ally, with a stranger, or in an extremely violent way. It can happen between people in relationships, people who are supposed to have your best interest at heart and even in the comfort of your own home.
Unfortunately, so many people are left traumatized and without support. An event like this can make everything become a trigger when left unprocessed. An environment, clothes, and people as a whole can become upsetting to even see. Those memories and experiences will never fade from someone's mind, and just being okay again is hard.
When it comes to a situation as disturbing and vulnerable as this is, the last thing a person needs to feel is guilt or be undermined. For women to feel safe and protected, action needs to be taken.
To fight against rape culture, take the initiative to avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women, speak out if you hear someone else making offensive jokes or giving misinformation, believe survivors and support them, and think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, and violence. Be respectful of others’ physical space even in casual situations, and define your manhood or womanhood. Do not let stereotypes shape your actions.
Most importantly, to avoid any discomfort or misunderstanding in relationships, always communicate with sexual partners and do not assume consent. The bottom line is simple, if it's not an enthusiastic yes the first time being asked, it's a no. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries in relationships or rejecting your partner for any reason. Nobody should feel bad or guilty for doing so, and as that partner don’t take it as something negative just be accepting and understanding. Sex should never feel forced or unenjoyable, and if something does not feel right, then it’s not. Trust your gut and intuition. Progress is possible, but it takes focusing on deeply rooted issues.